Crimson Drops

This was written several years ago as well.  It was a dark time in my life, as I was suffering from some pretty severe depression that was partially caused by some medication I was on.  I got the help I needed and found much better ways of handling things that didn’t involve harmful activities like drinking it away or self harm.   If you or someone you know is hurting themselves, please seek professional help.  http://us.reachout.com/get-help

Crimson Drops

As the blade slices through layer after thin layer
I feel the pain slowly fade away
Crimson drop after crimson drop wells to the surface
Pulling with it the pain and hurt I’ve buried deep inside.

As the blade slices through layer after thin layer
I sigh and close my eyes
As the blood flows from the severed capillaries
With it flows the sorrow and the anger I can’t speak of.

As the blade slices through layer after thin layer
My hunger for pain is unquenched
For long have I unknowingly
Craved the sharpness to cut myself wide open.

As the blade slices through layer after thin layer
It bares the fiery passion that has kept
Me alive in the darkness
The red finds its way to the surface

As the blade slices through layer after thin layer
The silver relieves my soul from its torment
The skin splits and the sorrow
Beings spilling over the sides

As the blade slices through layer after thin layer
As the knife drives deeper, the pain lessens
Another piece of flesh falls away
The pain is gone, but the blood still stings.

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5 thoughts on “Crimson Drops”

  1. I’m glad you had enough insight into yourself that you sought help. Very few people understand why they feel the need to harm themselves. Even the poem shows that you knew what the problem was…I hope that you will be able to help someone else by posting it here. Bravo you for having the courage to share it with us. 🙂

    1. At the time, all I knew is that it gave me a physical pain that in some ways helped mask what I was feeling emotionally. During this time, I also was drinking quite heavily and at about the same time I sought help for the depression, I also stopped drinking and didn’t touch alcohol for almost 2 years. By doing this, I was able to recognize the behavior patterns that I had and now, when I feel the same way I did then, I have different ways of coping with it, instead of alcohol and hurting myself.

    1. I understand exactly what you mean. When I wrote it, as I said, I was in a bad place. And after writing it and creating the graphic you see in the post, I filed it in a folder and didn’t go back to it for a few years at least. But now, going back and reading it, I find a lot of beauty in the poem. Part of the beauty is from knowing I was able to pull through that moment of my life, and part of it is simply in the words chosen. It is my hope that with the poem, maybe someone out there will know they aren’t alone and that it is possible to make it through with some help.

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